My monologue

From the moment I woke up to now, I've been drowned under the giant mounds of work. Nothing exciting, just hours and hours of the same rhythmic sound of paper rustling, the groaning of printing machines, keyboard typing and people rumbling. Other than that, I spent most of my precious minutes of freedom desperately trying to snatch a few pages of reading. Thus, I don't have much to talk about what I've read. 
Come to think of it, other than blogging about my reading of the day, I rarely talk about anything else. Sound lonely to me...Maybe I really am. Regardless of my being a big fan of romance, I don't have any interest in involving in a relationship myself. Perhaps I fear changes. I've been alright all by myself. I'm not sure about the prospect of introducing another person into my life. At least not for now. Not yet. 
No doubt many of my cousins who are of the same age as me, living in the countryside, are already planning their engagement or...wedding. Some of them even asked me about my soon-to-be groom when I was at their house for a visit last year. For goodness' sake. I'm only 24. Though it seems to them 24 is an awfully late age to settle down. At my age, I should be worrying about bearing children like a rabbit, and not talking about female independence. Oh, I don't get me wrong. I don't scorn the idea of marriage...I rather like it, actually. Still, I want to take it slow. Let it be natural as how it should be until I meet the right person. I don't want to go to any gathering or meeting. I usually feel very awkward and giddy when I am in a crowd. Hmmm, the worse thing of all is my tounge stucks to the roof as my mouth and my mind goes all blank when I talk to a male, be it a stranger or an acquaintance. I'm not a person without wits. But when I am in that trance, I am no different than an airhead. Oh, that is if someone try to provoke me, I suddenly become very eloquent, confident and all fired up. Ready for battle stance, you know.
*blushing* Man! It's so embarrashing to carry on a monologue on this topic. All the more emphasis to my loneliness. Wonder why I suddenly launched into such a talk. Maybe because there is nothing else to discuss. 
I've been choosing on which books to buy. My original intention was to buy a stack of 10-12 books or so. Then it jumped to 20 books. And now it's increased to 35 books. But there's no way I could buy all 35 books. I don't have enough money and I promised to buy PS3 games for my little sister. I guess I will have to pick some of them out to reduce the number. It will be a painful experience.
I've noticed I'm having some problem with the usage of prepositions. I should revise it. I know I've been using them all wrong.