Hold Still is so disturbing and unhealthy. Realistic in an unrealistic way (if you get what I mean.)

My head is pounding *bum bum bum...* right now. I need a painkiller pill.
 *Hands up* I surrendered. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't force myself to read another word of Hold Still by Nina LaCour. It is such a disturbing book. I know LaCour was aiming for reality, but then I couldn't help but felt it was too unhealthy to read.
The story's main purpose was to be realistic. But then, all through the first half of the book, I found myself snorting derisively at its unreality all the time. The book's casts were all beautiful and cool and superman talented. The girl commited suicide was described like a goddess who was not only amazingly talented in art and photography, but also gorgeous; except her unstable mental state with a disturbing inclination to self-inflict on her own person. Well, I guess, LaCour wanted to point out that in beauty there is ugliness present; things are not always as it seems, bla bla bla...
I'm so sorry if you are LaCour's fan and happened to stumble upon this post; but seriously, I can't stomach this book. After all, I haven't finished Hold Still, so I guess I do not have the right to judge it; as, perhaps, what's important is at its end. Still, I guess I chose the wrong book to humor me. I should never have chosen a book with suicidal theme. 
Oh, and you know what, I couldn't seem to find another person with normal life in this book. Every walking person in there seemed to be enveloped in grief and drama. Seriously, I don't know about anything else, but LaCour has done a wonderful job in giving me a picture of dooms and grief ahead for a future. Yeah, yeah, I know, redemption is in the second half of the book, but admit it, can you really bear to sit all day to read all the dark and gloomy things unfolding before your eyes and still got nowhere that is less depressing. Then you have to spend another day to suffer through it until you get to the part where the protagonist realized the light was still there in her life and she has to get over it and move on, and so on. 
It's tiredsome, this book. I suffered so much that I decided to release myself.
I want to re-read again. I swear this is my re-reading year; very few new books shall be added to my read list this year, I'm sure.     

Edit. Big news! I've found a new interesting series, "The Ghost and The Goth". Some reviewers marked it as being shallow. As for me, after spending time on books after books which were actually worse than being shallow, I stopped being afraid of experiencing them. Even highly rated books couldn't do it for me, why not try out the other books as well. Don't think it will make much of a difference. Wasting my time or not, I guess I can only count on my luck to find my favourite books.