CHANGE

Just found a place to ask for an exam placement. Haven't received their reply yet, but I think they will accept, after all it's the British Council. I read from their website that they are coopperated with the British exam boads...this and that. 
Broke the news to my mother a few hours ago. Can't really deduce what she really thought from her expression, but it didn't seem to bode well. She didn't look very happy. Funny how other parents would be totally elated and jumping up and down heavenly when they hear that their failured child wants to change their style of life and strive for the better. Not in my mother's case. I know why. She doesn't want to be reminded of what happened in the past, what she deemed as her fault for destroying my future plan. I don't really think so. It's me who chickened out from having to face a more difficult route and let my own future go. It's me who wanted to drown herself in her own misery. I chose the easy way. It was pitiful. I've wasted so many years. The years that I could have spent to make a difference.
I can't say I don't blame my mother at all. A part of me did, and....still does. Yeah, such a bad daughter I am. No matter what, I have to CHANGE. I can't endure my current lifestyle any more. I hate to be the recipient of all the pitiful and patronizing stares from my relatives. I can't run away and lie to my old friends forever. 
Yeah, I'm scared to be planning for such a major change out of the blue. But people's lives still go on, while mine has stopped several years ago. I have to change or I'll be as good as a corpse. May as well bury me deep down the earth if I don't ever change.

I'm thinking of doing Level 3 Diplomas in Abnormal Psychology, Psychology, Forensic and Criminal Psychology, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Then I'll progress to BTEC (HND) in Psychology Studies (that is if I'll pass all my exams). It will take me three years to complete these courses. One for Level 3 and two for BTEC HND. Upon being issued these certificates, I could either plunge into the field of job-hunting or continue my education at a university in England. I won't have to study the first year and can jump to the second year or third year depending on the university's requirements and how good I'll do on the BTEC (HND) degree. If I can choose, I'll opt for the latter. I love to expand my knowledge.

Today's pizza feast was a major failure. Pizza Hut sucks. I happen to disagree with whoever praises pizza hut's pizza. They taste good actually, but the pizza's base was not crisp and so weak that by the time we brought them home, they had turned into a complete mess. I thought I was eating something I dug out of a garbage bin. Besides, the waitress who took my order meddled it and change my order into something very different. I ordered a PEPPERONI pizza along with others. She brought me SEAFOOD IN PEPPER SAUCE. I ordered cheese filling for only two out of three pizza; what was handed to me all had cheese filling on the rims. Goodness, can't the girl read? It was too crowded so we didn't bother to look if they was the right ones and just went home. Hence, in short, we shared the same responsibility in creating this mistake.
*sigh* the cheese filling didn't melt at all. I put the pizza in my oven in an attempt to melt the cheese, sadly to no avail. It tasted sort of nice, but was too rich, and chewy like marshmallow. I didn't really favour such sensation. Not my cup of tea I guess. I like the hot melting stuff better. Moreover, there was so LITTLE cheese on top of the pizza that it was quite invisible.

Finished Wings today. In fact, the book was better than I expected. Regardless, I have to say I'm angry at the heroine. She's such a selfish girl. She loves one boy, but she's afraid of being alone because they can't be together (by her own choice), so she chose another one who is a CONSTANT in her life as she remarked and who she only likes, NOT loves. The book was an entertaining and very enjoyable read. But I think Pike wasted too much writing on some unnecessary parts while other elements should be explored more. I know she wanted to make the romance irresistible as one reviewer said, but unfortunately fell flat in the end.